When was the last time you and your partner did something that served absolutely no purpose beyond making you laugh? Did you have to think about it for a while? If so, you’re in pretty good company these days.
In 2026, people are increasingly tired of hyper-curated profiles, strategized conversations, and first dates that could easily double as job interviews – exactly why “whimsy” is one of this year’s bigger dating trends so far. The general idea is pretty simple. Just leave a little room for spontaneity and silliness, as well as for random detours that translate into really great stories to tell later.
This isn’t just great advice for singles still getting to know each other, either. If anything, long-term couples can benefit from it even more.
Responsibilities have a way of accumulating in long-term relationships. There are always bills to pay, appointments to remember, broken objects to repair, or relatives to worry about, and there always will be.
Eventually, those same two people who could once stay up talking until 2 AM about nearly anything realize most of their conversations now revolve around essentials that need to be handled by next Thursday. Transitions like these are also normal and even desirable to some extent. Managing a fruitful shared life is part of intimacy, so healthy relationships need two people involved who cooperate and plan.
The problems start when “management mode” becomes the default. Loving partners can become excellent co-administrators of a household while also losing touch with the companionship that launched their entire relationship. They might communicate well, but also completely stop playing and spending time together outside of a planned agenda.
Playfulness might not sound that important compared to the serious business of maintaining a relationship, but laughter and play actually serve essential functions.
Play presents opportunities for partners to reconnect with each other outside the confines of their usual roles. For just a little while, no one has to be the responsible parent, the person who worries about the bank balance, or the one who always remembers to call the plumber. Instead, they can simply enjoy one another’s company.
Shared humor also helps create small pockets of connection and happiness during stressful periods. Naturally, a well-timed inside joke or the occasional five-minute detour for whimsy’s sake isn’t going to eliminate the pressures couples face. It can support balance by giving them another type of emotional experience to share alongside those pressures.
There should always be limits involved, of course, as playfulness doesn’t erase issues like contempt, betrayal, emotional disconnect, or unresolved hurt. Both partners need to be capable of navigating difficult conversations, apologizing, acknowledging pain, and seeking professional support when necessary.
However, a relationship that’s solely focused on identifying and solving problems is in danger of also becoming one in which the people involved have forgotten they’re allowed to enjoy each other.
Turning playfulness into another relationship improvement project to add to a to-do list is the quickest way to drain the life out of it. There’s nothing wrong with planned date nights and new shared hobbies, but small alternatives are enough to bring some of the light back to a relationship.
Adults are experts at dismissing ideas that don’t serve some larger practical purpose. Try deliberately pursuing one anyway. Go ahead and bring spontaneity into your relationship – take the scenic route home or buy the weird snack at the grocery store. Stop somewhere you’ve always wondered about and experience it together.
The longer a couple has been together, the more inside jokes, weird references no one else would get, and random stories they eventually accumulate. Use them. Go out of your way to send ridiculous memes or photos that remind you of private jokes. Play your favorite songs while eating dinner.
Every tiny callback is a reminder that your relationship contains a whole world that belongs only to you.
It’s easier than you think to fit fun into the small spaces already available in your life. Turn daily routines into competitive games during household chores, or let a quick conversation wander off on a million tangents just for fun. Use your imagination. (No planning necessary!)
And make sure you both also resist the urge to test whether any of this is working. Play loses something vital when it becomes just another metric for tracking relationship health. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do together is waste a little time (and enjoy every minute of it).
Ready to strengthen your relationship? Schedule a consultation with Couples Thrive today and discover how therapy can help you and your partner reconnect.
April Eldemire is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and couples therapist at Couples Thrive in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She helps couples, individuals, and families work through relationship disconnection, communication breakdowns, infidelity, new-parenthood transitions, divorce-related stress, family conflict, grief, depression, and parenting challenges. April is trained in Gottman-Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy, two research-based approaches used to help couples better understand negative interaction patterns, rebuild emotional connection, and strengthen the relationship over time.
