Feeling connected with your spouse or partner isn't just important—it's kind of the whole point. To wit, decades of research confirm that being in a committed, long-term relationship or marriage is good for your physical and mental health, and that strong social connections benefit your quality of life and length of life. It follows, then, that feeling disconnected from your partner, for…Read More
A "situationship" is a romantic and/or sexual relationship that isn't formally defined. You may know it by its other pop culture references like "friends with benefits," "fun buddies," or "booty call." People in situationships generally aren't exclusively committed to each other and typically aren't expected to fork over a ton of emotional investment. But while this casual, noncomittal intimacy …Read More
Intimacy—that feeling of closeness, connectedness, and togetherness shared between people—is one of the most important and rewarding components of a healthy romantic relationship. When I work with couples who want to improve their marital satisfaction, I always end up referring to both types of intimacy that you hear about: physical (or sexual) intimacy and emotional intimacy. What this mea…Read More
I love the paradigm that a healthy marriage doesn't require 50/50 from both partners—it requires 100/100. This means that each partner gives their best effort to help the relationship to thrive. Now, this doesn't mean our 100% effort will be the exact same moment to moment and day to day. We can't always "crush it," simply because our best efforts change depending on innumerable factors—fr…Read More
Let's face it: anger is uncomfortable. Feeling angry, "seeing red," or "boiling over" usually doesn't feel good for you and sometimes even for the people around you, including your spouse. But here's something to note: Anger in its own right isn't necessarily a "problem." In fact, feeling angry is often a perfectly normal response to certain events or situations in your life, and can even help …Read More
Fun is FUN! That in itself is reason enough to make sure that play, fun, and joyful experiences are regular components of your marriage. When you're in a committed relationship, having fun with your partner is also a big help when it comes to preventing or improving complacency, burnout, stress, anxiety, depression, and related issues. Research has even found that couples report increased rel…Read More
"Narcissism." The word is a mainstay in modern day cultural lexicon, and rooted in the fictional character Narcissus, from a myth by first century Roman poet Ovid about a man who was cursed by the gods and made to fall in love with his own reflection. These days, the term "narcissism" is thrown around quite a lot. People in the public and private eye are frequently labeled as "narcissist…Read More
Social media is definitely a double-edged sword. On the one hand, social media helps us connect to loved ones, expand our social and professional networks, share information, and discover new products, brands, and ideas that we may never have found otherwise. On the other hand, social media has been linked to destructive feelings like loneliness, narcissism, and low self-esteem. For the romanti…Read More
I don't know about you, but I actually really like New Years resolutions. Yes, they get a bad rap. We see headline after headline about the dismal follow-through that people seem to have around these New Year, New Me commitments—for instance, that fewer than 8% of people actually stick to their goals (apparently) or that most people end up giving up on their aims before the end of January—a…Read More
When you argue with your spouse, does it ever feel like Groundhog Day? Do you ever shake your head in disbelief, wondering why you're having this same disagreement yet again? Hitting the same marital roadblock over and over may relate to a perpetual problem between you and your spouse. Perpetual problems—which even healthy couples have—are difficult if not impossible to solve (though not …Read More