When betrayal happens in a relationship, it hits you like tiny daggers piercing through every part of your skin. It leaves you in a state of fear, hurt and despair. You begin to wonder if you’ll ever be able to heal from the pain.
Betrayal occurs in many forms. From infidelity, mishandling of finances and deception to lying, hurtful accusations and not keeping your word. All are painful and leave a lasting imprint on our relationship.
There are ways to heal from betrayal, however. As a skilled couples therapist in Fort Lauderdale, I work with couples suffering from the utmost betrayal and get them to a place of recovery. With a little bit of hope and desire to work things through, I see countless couples repair relationships, find forgiveness and heal.
If you feel betrayed by your partner, learning the necessary road to recovery helps shed some light and give you hope that you can overcome and get past the suffering.
The first step is to calmly explain why you feel betrayed by your partner so that they can be receptive to your feelings. Try not to retaliate or use aggression. Speak from your hurt and wounded Self. Try not to alienate your partner either. Talk about the circumstance and your feelings towards it.
Next, allow your partner to respond with empathy and understanding. At this juncture, all you need is to feel heard and understood. If your partner can do this without blame or defensiveness, you’re on the right track.
Once you feel validated and your partner is able to acknowledge responsibility for the betrayal, THEN you can work towards healing. Sometimes even this process alone can take some time. Hang in there, because sometimes it does get better.
When you’ve reached this point, time has a lot to do with healing. Once you feel comfortable, you’ll now have to allow a small window of vulnerability to open up so that your partner can respond to it, protect it and keep it sacred. It is here that trust begins to restore. As you allow yourself room to build back trust, you slowly begin to see the cloud of doubt lifted and a different, more delicate relationship emerges.
You can’t rush the process of healing. It takes time to mend and repair a broken relationship. Give yourself the ability to feel hurt, express it and allow your partner to be sincere in their remorse. People make mistakes, and as much as you might like to retaliate or punish your loved one, it only adds fuel to the fire. Accept the heartfelt apology, and you’ll be on the right track to healing.
For more information about how to heal from betrayal, visit www.couples-thrive.com to schedule a free phone consultation today.
April Eldemire is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and couples therapist at Couples Thrive in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She helps couples, individuals, and families work through relationship disconnection, communication breakdowns, infidelity, new-parenthood transitions, divorce-related stress, family conflict, grief, depression, and parenting challenges. April is trained in Gottman-Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy, two research-based approaches used to help couples better understand negative interaction patterns, rebuild emotional connection, and strengthen the relationship over time.
