November 24, 2015 9:11pm
Marriage is a beautiful journey, yet sometimes has its setbacks. If you’re feeling like your marriage needs a serious reboot, check out these 5 secrets to getting your marriage back on track and thriving right away.
1. Be honest, even when it might be embarrassing to do so
“If you have maxed out a credit card or two and find yourself hiding the bills each month, you can bet it’s going to come back to bite you. Eventually, whether you’re applying for a home loan or simply talking about the costs of summer vacation, these kinds of money issues will either be brought to light by a credit report or by the simple fact you can’t afford a trip away. Although infidelity usually happens in bed, it also can happen with money. And it will be a tough road gaining back your spouse’s trust if you’ve lied about overspending…” Read the full article here.
2. Love is a verb, not just a feeling
Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t. Read more here.
3. Conflict resolution
When two different people fall in love and get married, it is natural for there to be some conflict, some differences in views, and some realization of habits or quirks that bug each other. Though hard, conflict has the power to draw you closer together, to teach you to truly listen to each other, and to give you the chance to recognize room for improvement in your own life. Conflict invites you to sacrifice, to be selfless, and to let love and respect govern your relationship with your spouse. Full article here.
4. Showing Appreciation
“Relationsthip expert Gottman’s research found that in everyday life, happy couples have 20 positive moments- such as a shared look, compliment or affectionate touch- to every negative moment.” More here.
5. Adhere to the 60/40 rule
Boggs and Miller also discovered that “marriage masters” have a high level of selflessness. “Walter” whom they interviewed, told them, “I’ll never forget what my mentor told my wife and me before we got married 42 years ago. He looked at us and said, ‘Most people think marriage is 50/50. It’s not. It’s 60/40. You give 60. You take 40. And that goes for both of you.” It was a principle Walter and his wife adhered to faithfully. More here.
Successful couples make conscious efforts everyday to fuel their relationship for the better. They make time to show praise, listen with intention, “show up” in the marriage and vow to make it work- in good times and bad. These 5 secrets are sure to change your relationship for the better.
April Eldemire is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and couples therapist at Couples Thrive in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She helps couples, individuals, and families work through relationship disconnection, communication breakdowns, infidelity, new-parenthood transitions, divorce-related stress, family conflict, grief, depression, and parenting challenges. April is trained in Gottman-Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy, two research-based approaches used to help couples better understand negative interaction patterns, rebuild emotional connection, and strengthen the relationship over time.
