I love ChatGPT.
I’ve written about it before. I use it regularly. And I genuinely think it can be a helpful tool for relationships.
Sometimes you need help untangling your thoughts before a difficult conversation. Sometimes you need help putting feelings into words. Sometimes you need a neutral place to sort through what’s happening before you react.
Used well, AI can help us become more thoughtful communicators.
But lately, I’ve been thinking about the other side of it.
Because there’s a risk that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough.
AI can become a really sophisticated validation machine.
Here’s what I mean.
When you tell ChatGPT about a conflict, it only knows what you tell it.
Your version of events.
Your interpretation.
Your perspective.
If you’re hurt, it sees hurt.
If you’re angry, it sees anger.
If you’re convinced your partner is being unreasonable, it starts with the information you’ve provided and builds from there.
That’s not because AI is biased. It’s because it doesn’t have access to the other person’s experience.
And that’s where relationships get complicated.
Most relationship problems aren’t caused by one person being completely right and the other person being completely wrong.
They’re caused by two people having different experiences of the same situation.
But if we’re not careful, AI can unintentionally strengthen our certainty instead of expanding our perspective.
It can help us build a stronger argument for our side.
And sometimes that’s exactly the problem.
I’ve even noticed people bringing AI-generated messages into therapy.
Some of them are incredibly well-written.
Clear. Articulate. Thoughtful.
But occasionally, they read more like closing arguments than invitations to connect.
The goal seems to be proving a point rather than understanding another person.
And relationships rarely improve because someone built the perfect case.
They improve when both people become more curious about what they might be missing.
That’s why I think the most important question isn’t whether you should use AI in your relationship.
It’s how you’re using it.
If you’re asking:
“Can you help me explain why I’m right?”
You’ll probably get a very different result than if you ask:
“What might I be missing here?”
One question reinforces your position.
The other expands it.
That’s where AI becomes useful.
Not as a substitute for self-reflection, but as a tool that supports it.
Not as a replacement for difficult conversations, but as preparation for them.
Not as a way to win an argument, but as a way to approach it with more clarity and humility.
I don’t think the future of relationships is going to be less AI.
If anything, it’s going to be more.
The challenge will be learning how to use it without outsourcing our judgment, empathy, or critical thinking.
Because wisdom has always required something that technology can’t fully provide:
Another human perspective.
So if you’re using ChatGPT to navigate a conflict, process a breakup, or draft a difficult message, go for it.
Just remember to ask one more question before you hit send:
“What would the other person say if they were sitting here too?”
That question may be more valuable than anything AI gives you in return.
To Your Thriving Relationship,
April
