Many people assume that for two partners to be healthy and thriving together, there needs to be a 50/50 split in terms of energy, love, and effort. I invite you to think about it as 100/100. In other words, both partners put in their best effort to commit to and nurture a healthy bond. Of course, your best efforts will fluctuate at times—and that's okay. Factors like stress at work or a poor nig…Read More
Here's a simple truth: All healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. You see, boundaries aren't restricting or limiting. Boundaries provide the freedom to express your needs and values while also honoring the needs and values of your partner. Setting boundaries is: The essential antidote to codependency A prerequisite for emotional well-being A learnable skill that determines the succe…Read More
How often should you and your spouse have sex? The answer: As often as it takes for you both to feel satisfied—which, according to a 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, is about once a week for most happily married couples. Of course, you and your partner might have sex more often than this, which is great. Just know you don't have to hold yourselves to t…Read More
Have you ever felt (or were told) that you're "going crazy"? Maybe there was something "off" about a prior relationship you can't put your finger on. Perhaps your current partner frequently says things like "You're not remembering that correctly" or "That's not how it happened." While subtle, these signs often point to an underlying interpersonal dynamic that can be extremely detrimental. Read on …Read More
The catchy adage "Money can't buy me love" has a lot of truth to it...at least to a point. A well-known 2010 study out of Princeton University found that beyond a certain income threshold—$75,000 per year, apparently—a person doesn't report more and more happiness, no matter how high their income goes. But even if money can't buy you love and happiness, it sure can have a negative impact on…Read More
Just about everyone has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic in some way. For couples with kids, the added stress of homeschooling (even while working full-time from home), raised tensions from close and frequent contact, and generalized anxiety about the uncertain times can seem overwhelming. To avoid getting overwhelemed during this transition—and to help your children feeling overwhelmed,…Read More
Imagine this scenario: You notice your partner seems anxious about something. You're not sure what's going on, but all day they've been acting agitated and on edge. How do you respond? Is there a part of you that begins to worry or perceive their mood as a rejection of you? What do you say to your partner about your concerns—if anything? Do you reach out, even if you're not sure how? Part…Read More
Nobody is immune to stress, and during these unprecedented times—a global pandemic that's nearly shut down the economy worldwide—high degrees of stress can be a daily occurrence. For couples, stressful moments can both fortify or strain a relationship. If you're currently spending most of your time at home because of social distancing efforts to curb the spread of COVID-19, keep these followi…Read More
It's not hard to imagine how negativity can be damaging for a healthy relationship. The problem is, we see so many examples of negative interactions between couples—on television, in movies, and in "real life"—that nagging, teasing, criticizing, or speaking poorly of our partners (even if you're "just joking") can start to seem like normal behavior. And sure, maybe negativity is "normal" or a…Read More
When dating someone new, the feelings you experience as you get to know each other can be incredibly exciting. And once you're out of the "honeymoon phase," the next stage of your relationship can be just as rewarding—the time to build a deeper bond grounded in trust and genuine love. But even when genuine love is there, it's understandable to have some worries about the future. Is this perso…Read More