Couples that don’t reconnect, disconnect. It’s important to stay on top of your relationship constantly, yet with life’s hustle and bustle, it’s hard work to focus on your marriage all the time. Reality check- marriage is hard work, so don’t make excuses for not spending quality time with one another. Make it a non-negotiable. Here are 10 speedy ways to connect daily so your relationship stays strong and healthy.
- Greet one other with excitement at the end of the day. The six-second kiss is a kiss with potential. In long-term relationships, complacent pecks of parting and greeting can easily be overlooked. Make your kisses count.
- Hold hands while binge watching your favorite show. It takes little effort to touch and there’s immense power in holding hands and cuddling. Raising endorphins (hormones that create a euphoric effect) produces intimacy and closeness.
- Give a compliment. We often have great thoughts about our significant others that stay in our head. For instance, ”His haircut looks really nice.” “It looks like she’s lost some weight. I’m proud of her.” “He works so hard for our family.” “I love her laugh.” Don’t forget to sprinkle your spouse with compliments that they’ll appreciate and boost their self-esteem.
- Laugh at a joke. Whether it’s a meme on social media or a silly knock knock joke, a little humor brightens the tension from the day and goes a long way.
- Ask an open-ended question. We tend to make a lot of statements rather than asking questions. An open-ended question elicits conversation, even if it’s a quick one over bath time with the kids. Even better, include your kids over dinnertime. You’ll be surprised how important a simple question is. Questions make us feel like we’re interesting and important. Who doesn’t want to feel like you’ve just caught the attention of someone you love?
- The million-dollar question that I often encourage couples to ask before heading out the door is, “What can I do for you today?” It takes the focus off of ourselves which allows us to do for others.
- Instead of tag-teaming chores and parenting, do one activity together as a couple. Whether that’s going to the gym at the same time and working out with your swolemate or cooking dinner side by side, tackling something as a team should be a priority in your daily life.
- Share a memory. “Remember that time we got drenched while taking a stroll on the beach?” “What you just said reminded me of our wedding vows. That was the best day of my life.” “I’ll never forget the time when you surprised me with that getaway trip.” It doesn’t have to be as in-depth as dusting off the photo album or watching your 4-hour wedding video (although this would be a great date night in), but sharing a fond memory builds emotional intimacy.
- Have a quickie. Romance doesn’t have to involve candlelit dinners and rose petals on the bed, but sex is a necessary part of marriage. A quick romp builds excitement and anticipation for the next time where you may have more room for a slow and sultry night of passion.
- Plan an upcoming trip or date night. When was the last time you did something spontaneous and out of the ordinary? Vacations are becoming less and less with the increasing demands of work. A night away or better yet, a long-awaited trip to Europe is a way to stay out of the mundane rut that can engulf married life and create new and lasting memories.
A little intention builds a lifetime of love. The key to relationship happiness is a strong sense of friendship and good friends always make time for one another.