When you argue with your spouse, does it ever feel like Groundhog Day? Do you ever shake your head in disbelief, wondering why you're having this same disagreement yet again? Hitting the same marital roadblock over and over may relate to a perpetual problem between you and your spouse. Perpetual problems—which even healthy couples have—are difficult if not impossible to solve (though not …Read More
Do things feel heavy to you right now? They do for me, too. When so many difficult issues are going on in the world—including the environment, Afghanistan, politics, COVID-1, and the mental health crisis—it can sometimes feel like you're shouldering these burdens on your own. And even with a supportive spouse, it can be tricky figuring out how to create healthy conversations about these tou…Read More
The introvert falls for the extrovert. The one who loves to save marries the one who loves to shop. The "glass half full" kind of person finds their "glass half empty" partner. Are these relationships destined to thrive—or doomed to fail? When Opposites Attract Magnets—sure. But as far as human relationships go, the idea that "opposites attract" seems to be little more than an interestin…Read More
Do you ever get angry at your spouse? For most of us, the answer is a resounding yes. We're human, after all, and anger is a normal human emotion. But while feeling angry isn't inherently bad, anger can have a negative impact on your marriage if it's not dealt with well. When You're Angry and You Know It: Why it's Normal and What To Do (And NOT Do) About It If you have this idea that healthy c…Read More
A "sexless marriage" can mean different things to different couples. But what all sexless marriages have in common is a lack of physical intimacy that leaves one or both partners feeling alienated, unsatisfied, and disconnected. The feeling of disconnect is key. After all, a lack of sex is not necessarily a problem if both partners aren't bothered by it. But when lack of sexual intimacy be…Read More
Many people assume that for two partners to be healthy and thriving together, there needs to be a 50/50 split in terms of energy, love, and effort. I invite you to think about it as 100/100. In other words, both partners put in their best effort to commit to and nurture a healthy bond. Of course, your best efforts will fluctuate at times—and that's okay. Factors like stress at work or a poor nig…Read More
Here's a simple truth: All healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. You see, boundaries aren't restricting or limiting. Boundaries provide the freedom to express your needs and values while also honoring the needs and values of your partner. Setting boundaries is: The essential antidote to codependency A prerequisite for emotional well-being A learnable skill that determines the succe…Read More
How often should you and your spouse have sex? The answer: As often as it takes for you both to feel satisfied—which, according to a 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, is about once a week for most happily married couples. Of course, you and your partner might have sex more often than this, which is great. Just know you don't have to hold yourselves to t…Read More
Just about everyone has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic in some way. For couples with kids, the added stress of homeschooling (even while working full-time from home), raised tensions from close and frequent contact, and generalized anxiety about the uncertain times can seem overwhelming. To avoid getting overwhelemed during this transition—and to help your children feeling overwhelmed,…Read More
Imagine this scenario: You notice your partner seems anxious about something. You're not sure what's going on, but all day they've been acting agitated and on edge. How do you respond? Is there a part of you that begins to worry or perceive their mood as a rejection of you? What do you say to your partner about your concerns—if anything? Do you reach out, even if you're not sure how? Part…Read More