Hi! I'm a healthy relationship. I might not look exactly like what you had in mind. In fact, I might even look quite different when I'm with different couples, depending on those individuals' personalities and preferences. And I can even change and evolve over time with the same two people! But there are some important traits and characteristics that you'll definitely notice about me. A Healthy …Read More
Feeling connected with your spouse or partner isn't just important—it's kind of the whole point. To wit, decades of research confirm that being in a committed, long-term relationship or marriage is good for your physical and mental health, and that strong social connections benefit your quality of life and length of life. It follows, then, that feeling disconnected from your partner, for…Read More
Intimacy—that feeling of closeness, connectedness, and togetherness shared between people—is one of the most important and rewarding components of a healthy romantic relationship. When I work with couples who want to improve their marital satisfaction, I always end up referring to both types of intimacy that you hear about: physical (or sexual) intimacy and emotional intimacy. What this mea…Read More
I don't know about you, but I actually really like New Years resolutions. Yes, they get a bad rap. We see headline after headline about the dismal follow-through that people seem to have around these New Year, New Me commitments—for instance, that fewer than 8% of people actually stick to their goals (apparently) or that most people end up giving up on their aims before the end of January—a…Read More
When you argue with your spouse, does it ever feel like Groundhog Day? Do you ever shake your head in disbelief, wondering why you're having this same disagreement yet again? Hitting the same marital roadblock over and over may relate to a perpetual problem between you and your spouse. Perpetual problems—which even healthy couples have—are difficult if not impossible to solve (though not …Read More
The introvert falls for the extrovert. The one who loves to save marries the one who loves to shop. The "glass half full" kind of person finds their "glass half empty" partner. Are these relationships destined to thrive—or doomed to fail? When Opposites Attract Magnets—sure. But as far as human relationships go, the idea that "opposites attract" seems to be little more than an interestin…Read More
A "sexless marriage" can mean different things to different couples. But what all sexless marriages have in common is a lack of physical intimacy that leaves one or both partners feeling alienated, unsatisfied, and disconnected. The feeling of disconnect is key. After all, a lack of sex is not necessarily a problem if both partners aren't bothered by it. But when lack of sexual intimacy be…Read More
Here's a simple truth: All healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. You see, boundaries aren't restricting or limiting. Boundaries provide the freedom to express your needs and values while also honoring the needs and values of your partner. Setting boundaries is: The essential antidote to codependency A prerequisite for emotional well-being A learnable skill that determines the succe…Read More
How often should you and your spouse have sex? The answer: As often as it takes for you both to feel satisfied—which, according to a 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, is about once a week for most happily married couples. Of course, you and your partner might have sex more often than this, which is great. Just know you don't have to hold yourselves to t…Read More
Imagine this scenario: You notice your partner seems anxious about something. You're not sure what's going on, but all day they've been acting agitated and on edge. How do you respond? Is there a part of you that begins to worry or perceive their mood as a rejection of you? What do you say to your partner about your concerns—if anything? Do you reach out, even if you're not sure how? Part…Read More