Do you ever get angry at your spouse? For most of us, the answer is a resounding yes. We're human, after all, and anger is a normal human emotion. But while feeling angry isn't inherently bad, anger can have a negative impact on your marriage if it's not dealt with well. When You're Angry and You Know It: Why it's Normal and What To Do (And NOT Do) About It If you have this idea that healthy c…Read More
When dating someone new, the feelings you experience as you get to know each other can be incredibly exciting. And once you're out of the "honeymoon phase," the next stage of your relationship can be just as rewarding—the time to build a deeper bond grounded in trust and genuine love. But even when genuine love is there, it's understandable to have some worries about the future. Is this perso…Read More
Every relationship has its conflicts and communication issues. But not all relationship problems are created equal. Research from esteemed psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman reveals at least four characteristics which tend to spell serious trouble for intimate partners. So damaging are their effects that together they've earned an ominous nickname—The Four Horsemen. But while…Read More
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." -Oscar Wilde In this quote, Wilde poetically hits at the heart of selfishness. Said another way, selfishness is the tendency to expect someone else to live according to your values, rather than their own. Of course, to be selfish is a human trait—which means every one of us expresses it f…Read More
Between 40 percent and 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, but this rate is falling -- perhaps due to the excellent marriage counseling services now available. More and more people are seeking the help of a third party before things break down. As a result of professional intervention, relationships are being rebuilt before the 'D' word is ever mentioned. If your relationship has h…Read More
The word "divorce" is enough to send chills down your spine. No one expects to break the vows made on a wedding day of hopeful promises and wedded bliss but many marriages do ultimately end with lawyers, court hearings and negotiated paperwork that decides -- among other things -- who gets the dog. If you have reached the point where your only option is to continue the unhappiness of being with yo…Read More
One of the biggest areas of conflict in relationships revolves around money. Tough conversations can inevitably arise, as money is an unavoidable topic. When discussing financial topics like budgets, school tuition, house buying or car loans, spouses need to be able to make logical decisions while managing heightened emotions. I often recommend that couples identify with and understand their own …Read More
Couples therapy gets a bad rap with the alarming number of therapists who claim to be skilled at working with couples, yet do not have the necessary skill-set to do so. Just as a parent- desperate for an answer to their child’s chronic ear infections- seeks out the leading pediatrician in the field, the same holds true when looking for a marriage counselor. For matters of the heart, people want …Read More
Some couples have rocky beginnings. Maybe it’s a bad breakup that left you terrified of starting something new, high expectations that turned into quick disappointment or a lie that sets the relationship up for future resentment. Other couples have it easy right off the bat, but end up going through tough seasons later on. Maybe it’s financial trouble, perpetually heated arguments or mutual fe…Read More
Dr. John Gottman’s world-renowned research on couples satisfaction discovered that couples wait an astounding six years on average to seek outside help from a couple’s counselor after problems arise. By then resentment, bitterness and relationship hostility have crept in and become like a pesky, unwanted houseguest that has taken up permanent residence in the home. How is it possible that cou…Read More